There is hope in the garden

Though I am weighed down right now

with the news of a wonderful writer,friend,mentor's

death

Though I am weighed down by a friend's suffering chemo

and loneliness

Though I am filled with prayers for good news forthcoming

for a family member

though, though, though

all this worldly spirit weight of the being

There is the garden

hope and promise

rising through the wet mud

gray days

cold air

Despite all this harshness

m' lady garden

rises

Continues the process

it is called to do

 

Lady Robin has finished her nest

despite horrible rain and wind

 

She kept picking grass and mud

arranging and rearranging the lining of her nest

swirling around and around making it just right

for her eggs

Now she is settled in

I assume she has eggs now

....Yesterday she sat on that nest

while it rained

and rained

...and it was cold

But she did what she was called to do

 

Signs

all over

the blood root rises



 

and the bluebells

the aconites

the trillium

and the sedum

I thought to save this for my artist friend, April
...she loves nature stuff
(for her studio)
...oops
I think I have waited too long
...

Even the common daffodils
are risen from the desolate looking earth

and the peonies

 

Nothing special happening in my garden
....the ordinary
AHHH
but the ordinary
is my saving grace 

 

Do you know what this is?
...the beginnings of?

yep, there she is rearranging

rubbing her body around and around
forming a little muddy cup
..sigh..with Reagan's last year's Easter grass that she scatterd all over my yard
do you remember?

 

Golly look at what last April looked like last year!

...not a single leaf is out now

I guess I need to stop scolding myself for not doing a great job
of cleaning up last Fall
and I need to halt spring clean up
by the landscapers in this area
.....critters and birds first
 

 The weatherman says it is going to reach 70 today
hmm
I'll believe it when I feel it
But Mrs. Robin may stifle my gardening joys today
I don't want to scare her away...
what with a bird's eye view from my study window
...and if you know Me
You know that I LOVE robins

Handsome looked so pitiful yesterday
I locked Boo up in the basement and tried to catch Handsome
to bring him inside
Guess the guys not that weak
he ran
and cried
So I left him alone
He came back this morning...to find a new warm snugly tiger blanket
in his igloo and a warm bowl of chicken waiting

I know that everyday is an adventure
never to be offered again
so I will be outside today
I'll let you know what is showing through the earth
...my spirit is hungry
for garden
 

 

Every year this pair walks through my yard
quaaaacking a low quack
she scurrying around
he a watchful eye on everything
One year they actually nested in my blue bells
layed an egg
then abandoned it
and some mr racoon
I think took off with the little egg
I rejoice quietly
when I hear their quacks
somehow it comforts me
this cycle of life
going on in my own backyard garden

It has been a sucky winter and so far
a sucky spring
cold wet windy
muddy....
but oh my looky here....daffodillies
thank you thank you
trumpets of spring

ha! who knew Mr. Cardinal would go to the Handsome's carryout
diner for his lady's meal

 

Maybe just maybe
Spring is just about to come over the hill
! joy !

Long Winter

 

I awoke this morning and thanked God for another morning
though lately my days have been dull and busy

and I was also grateful for another morning with Handsome
He's not been looking too well lately
thin, dull fur, bent ears, runny nose, sneezing
But some days this is my happiness of joy
seeing him...one more day
The guy's used up all of his nine lives and then some
But God has given him another morning too
and so we rejoice together
two suffering souls...finding and giving comfort to each other
Feral.....adjective.....wild
Yes, some days I have wild in me
belonging to no one, journeying through
and over rough paths
finding shelter where I can...in a spiritual way
...sort of on the run
mostly from myself and the disquiet within

I fed him a bowl of warm chicken
he meowed his gravel truck meow
and I made a bowl of oatmeal

We watched each other
through the glass door
our stomach hungers fed
ready to venture into a new day
He to rest awhile posing as a kept kitty
me to get to work
posing like I knew the answers

 

It snowed all day and into the evening
A beautiful snow
I wished for snow flowers so I could go out and tend them
boots on, warm scarf around my neck
soft mittens and an open heart
I stood in front of my home
lost in quiet hushed snowfall
fairyland before me
ahhhh
This is how winter should be
wonder, pure wonder
 

 

 

It's that time again...
time when yearnings for the garden seep
into the daily breathing of my heart and soul

I remember the evening pictured above
..after a day of rain
Somehow it cleared up by late afternoon
and the sun shown in the cloudy sky
like a miracle of joy
It was late June
and my mood fit the rainy day

Losing our little Isla Maeve in May
made the garden seem less joyful
to me as I daily sought refuge
where it usually was to be found...amongst the green and flowers and trees
and birds and bug and toads of the garden
But it was in the heavens above
just be before dusk
that the comfort came to me
in the simple reminder that the sun always shines
....I remember cutting a few flowers
and bringing them inside
joy in a vase
joy
and I was comforted

I can't wait to return to my beloved space
in the garden
As usual I have grand plans to redo some parts
...that's the beauty of it really
the opportunity to make better
and knowing that it really doesn't matter
for things become what they are
always and still
my Open Bar of Joy

I've already purchased my four o'clock
and my heavenly blue morning glory seeds
so it begins....the great dreaming in late winter

 

Yesterday it was windy and cold
and i stood at the window and watched this indigo glass bottle
submit
letting itself be taken by the wind
and I saw a flash of joy

"When you do something,
 you should do it with your whole body and mind;
you should be concentrated on
what you do."
 
-Suzuki
 

It got done to 4 degrees last night
and Handsome found his way to us
and hunkered down in comfort
belly filled with chicken
and his body warmed by soft blankets
and a heated pad underneath them.
He did it with his whole body

 

And early this morning
I saw that he was snuggled way back in the igloo
and stirred when he heard me
and ventured out and stretched
that wonder wonderful cat stretch...
that we humans try to imitate
 

I warmed his chicken up in a pot with a bit of butter
.....so it would stay warm...
In this cold weather it freezes so fast.
He wolfed it down and then stared at me
...more please..
but I was out of chicken
So I slipped him some dry food..and he took what was given
with his whole body

Then I saw that he moved into the sun and let it warm and nurture him
wise kitty
I wish he would let me own him
but I think he will not be owned
This too he does with his whole body....
lives free


 

Now do you believe me.
This little fella actually crawled into Handsome's house
and squirreled under the pillow and blankets and stayed there for
most of the afternoon!
I guess..warm is warm

I didn't see him yesterday.....
but Handsome showed up....and stayed all day
snug in his igloo that is heated with a warming pad for outdoors
....I guess I can never move.

 

Honestly
a mink?

We don't have mink here in our suburb.

I once had a baby muskrat fall down my window well
and a sick fox called my deck home for two weeks before he died under my deck
and an injured goose with a broken wing
and countless dogs and cats appear at my back door
but a mink?

Could he have been an escaped pet?
or does he live mysteriously in my neighborhood?

He was tiny.
He struggled to eat the dry food
He had an injury to his neck fur as if he had been caught somewhere.

He stayed about 10 minutes then scampered off
leaving the little child inside of me filled with joy
and wonder



 

 

The dove
the mourning dove
One of the garden's simplest pleasures
to watch
This one sat there for about 15 minutes
then flew down to the ground
picking around the snow dusted earth...
I took pity....and filled the feeders...
cast some on the gorund for her or him
....a kindness
that came back to me
When she sat again on the deck rail
and watched me watching her or him
Funny how a simple little bird
can brighten ones morning

 

 

Morning sky
above the sleeping garden
We have gone over 300 days without snow
....I never thought I'd say
I am sorry about this

but it's part of the package of winter
beautiful morning snow
quiet snow
hush snow
blowing snow
the sound of shovels lifting snow
somewhere in the neghborhood
even the buzz of snowblowers are missed
people whose faces are covered with snow blowing back onto their faces
as they shiver clearing their driveways
ahhh...I miss it
and the branches of trees encased in beautiful glistening ice
and squirrels with snow covered whiskers begging at my window
Would you believe that I have green patches of grass still
in my yard
But I hear we are going into a real freeze this week
no snow, but frigid temps
Well I am happy to report my inside plants
are doing fabulous
and the big fern I hauled in and stored in the garage
is doing just fine
I lost a few geraniums...but oh well

So this morning when I looked out and saw this gorgeous sky
I felt all garden inside
and I wanted to share my joy

 

 

Ah, the lone Chickadee
that graces my newly filled feeder
He better eat fast
the news will get out
and the squirrel will arrive
bully of the neighborhood
...for now...until the hawk shows up
So eat away little friend
You bring me a ray of joy
on this gloomy gray afternoon
as I try to triumph
over a nasty cold bug

Miss Kitty O'Shea stretched out in front of the patio door
and then hissed
Who's there? I asked her
Oh...it's Handsome...

here for a chicken handout.......stew bum he is
I Opened the door and called out Handsome...and he ran away off of the deck...as usual
 

I placed the bowl down and shut the door
and he quickly ran to the bowl and chowed down
My..you're fluffy today...I said.
Then I looked closer
Hey! your ears.....your ears
you are not Handsome!
Impostor!
Impostorette!

 

He/she strolled off of the deck
and seemed to say
Yea, that's right....I'm not Handsome.
I'm Beautiful
 

 

I wonder if she will return
now that she knows that chicken is served
on demand

 

Late season
Bareness and shadows
a time when you can really see the bones
and the garden in late fall is
bleak too

 

every garden should have one
at least mine should
 

Like an angel
like an old loved friend
he arrived on my deck this morning
I fed him warm chicken
and a bit of dry
Handsome ate... then curled up in his heated igloo
and took a snooze
like a beloved pet kitty
From a distance he looks at me and listens to me
call him Handsome
but he will run if I inch a breath closer
He will only come to the food bowl if I close the door
.....I can admire him through the glass
and that is it
But he brought my sagging spirit to joy
and warmth....just admiring him
 He brought me outside myself
good kitty

 

 

 

I think I'll take a nap too

 

wabi sabi

I remember the day I brought this home
in the back seat of my girlfriend's van
She flirted with the store manager
to get him to help us load it up
We laughed all the way back to my house
Then ..to get it up and standing before my husband
got home
Amazing what you can do when you need to
ha
But today as I looked at it...rusting away
bound to the earth
baring many wind chimes cheerfully
I think about my friend...that friend that day
We had a falling out
that has lasted.....
rusting away with hurt feelings
now a patina to the memory of that day
many years ago
when we laughed so hard
Impermanence
of things brought home this day
in the garden
glad that it is closing up
I need the winter to think on things
maybe find contentment
humility
forgiveness

oh my precious garden
again you speak
 

 

Even Van Gogh liked to walk in leaves

Right now it's shuffling through leaves
those glorious remains of summer's life
as they dry and crumble below my feet.

But there is no sadness of this season passing
Winter on the horizon

No, I welcome it
walk in its beauty...all of its beauty
even the fallen beauty
....coat, hat and gloves on
....I even had a fire in the fireplace yesterday
hot cocoa in my cup
pouring through gardening books
for next year
Next year....The good Lord willing
I will once again begin again
my gardening joys
Only next year..it will be less
.....I am happy with this thought
the garden will no less bring me joy
...and wonder and surprises
no it always delivers
I have a few more things to put away
to cut back
a few flowers hanging on....they don't want to go
but they will
Go to sleep I tell them
and when it's time
you can rise and bloom again
but for now
sleep
Like closing a book with a book mark
I'll know where to start up again...
where to find joy

 

I loved the sound of robins in the yard
I lingered a bit
just to listen
Soon they will be gone
and I will miss them so
So eat up ....fly full

my flowers
the middle one is 30 today
joy