ivy still here

 

I spent the morning weeding

 

and inspecting the garden for you know

 

damage and bugs and poison ivy

 

found all three

 

 

bugs I can live with

 

but poison ivy...two little stalks found hiding under the dogwoods

 

 

but worse, I found a break in the drainage from the sump pump

 

oh dear, will it never end.....this is not sexy stuff

 

but the lilies are all in bloom....sigh I love lilies

so beautiful at dusk with that slant of light piercing their beautiful petals

 

Pablo was supposed to come tonight to look at the drainage pipe

of course ...he didn't come

he'll be here in the morning, but how does he know that I will be here?

I was out and about...near plants...I want to take them all home...it's a sickness

this love of flowers....

 

 



sort of back into the garden

Oh dear

 

I thought I'd write a bit

 

but everything didn't cooperate

 

this happens a lot lately since passing the unholy age of 65

But I miss my blogger friends

especially the garden and animal loving ones

 

so here goes....a few lines about my garden

 

It was a mess

really and truly a mess

 

I called in Pablo for help

 

he tore the hell out of it and got it straight

 

I'm too old for the hard work

 

But now that it is whipped into shape

I started

 

and wouldn't you know that nasty poison ivy from last year reared its ugly horrid head

 

but this year I knew what I was looking for

 

and despite making a pledge years ago about using chemicals

 

I sinned

 

Roundup

 

had to.....

 

It's 90 outside

so I did a bit of watering and weeding

and then  almost fainted from all that hot sunshine

 

getting old is a bitch

 

I used to move furniture around the house like it was nothing

 

now, moving a hosta plant all about does me in

 

more tomorrow

 

 

 

 

 

 

 



 

 

Held by snow

 

a dried up curled up leaf

 

That about describes me right now

 

I promise to get back to gardening this year

 

and sharing my thoughts with you

 

I know there are a few followers left

 

who will love seeing transformations

 

and isn't the garden just that

 

transformations?

 

I try to be whimsical about my posting

 

letting you in on my feelings about the garden

 

last year I just couldn't conjure them up

 

If you don't go in to the garden....no salve for the weary

 

but that's okay.....I was busy being the salve somewhere else

 

But I ache for the flower petals, the dragonflies

 

toads....bunnies....bats

 

and the occasional stray oddity that has been known to grace my garden

 

just look back in my blog

 

I do have two resident feral cats now that have taken up on my deck

 

I have their 3 kittens inside...almost 15 months old now

 

My husband is well and the grandkids are doing fine

 

Little Tuula is doing the best she ever has

 

fingers crossed

 

I am going to keep it simple this year

 

no going crazy on planters

 

Iwill feel like a success if I can keep up with weeding and pruning

 

oh I am dreaming of a warm summer day...being in the shade of the pines

 

listening and feeling the breeze against my face

 

oh to feel alive like that again

 

so simple

 

 

 

 

 

 



a spot of cheer

 

A friend sent this photo to me today

don't know where she got it from

she didn't write anything

sending it was enough

I got it

Oh this long long miserable winter

but a friend sent me a pot full of warm cheer

and hope

and

joy

 

 



Dreaming of White Clover

 

Got a call from a friend from Galena

Want me to check on the house? he asks

Sure

He called back and said our propane tank was empty

and it is 5 degrees outside

and we are on a keep full basis.....so much for that

 

Now, don't worry, it's taken care of

and we always shut the water off

but.....lordie.....this winter

has been one lesson

that I am still trying to figure out what I need to learn

from it

 

I guess....trust that this too shall pass

and tomorrow is a new day with no mistakes

and tomorrow is always a gift

as is today

I have been looking out the window a lot

surveying the frozen tundra of a garden

and wishing and dreaming and lusting for color

making plans

Wanting to make a new garden this year

redo a few areas.....I know I say that every winter

But this time it is different...I am thinking

small and do-able

not grand and overwhelming

like sewing white Dutch clover in a barren area

between houses....oh! I hear you screaming

But I am wanting more bees and the smell of clover flowers

and the ability to make clover necklaces

while lying in it

 looking up

with sky mind

 yes....I think I shall invite clover in

and let the sorrel stay

along with the purple clover that bees

go gaga over

I am a wench after all.....I welcome all

Who am I to stand in judgment of anyone

Come all ye faithful

Yes this year it will be different

I shall do as I please in my garden

and it shall please me

joy

 

 

 



There is a calmness to a life lived in gratitude,
a quiet joy


...ralph h. blum

The house has been quiet since the family
...left to return to California
...four birthdays celebrated
...a birth-day rejoiced in
...an anniversary given thanks for...
...Tuula was Christened
...the Christmas decorations all put away
I slept 9 hours

Many years ago I started a gratitude journal
heard of it on Oprah
Sarah BanBreathnache's book....Simple Abundance
......A literal journal of five things everyday that I was thankful for
I found that it was not much different than the daily prayers
I prayed
...insight....I have learned from childhood to be thankful
for everything given me
But Sarah was right...it is the simple things
that lift you up with joy
Like my garden
the birds
the bugs
the toads
the sky
the wind
heat on my skin
seeing cold in my breath

By late summer I am done with the garden
but oh good Lord
I am desiring it by early January
I guess feeding my birds and critters outside
is a way of gardening though
They fluff their fur or feathers
wait at my door or window
for my tending of the feeders
This garden connection continues
and I am grateful
The sight of the Cardinal against the snow
....pure joy

Oh it was so cold this late December
and snow was wet and heavy

The snow is a welcomed thing as far as beauty goes
it is beautiful and wonderful
...but it gets old quickly

Now it is early January and the weather
is not too bad...20
a few flakes yesterday after much of the 10 inches had melted
The garden covered in heavenly white is welcomed
but today the dirtiness of melted snow is present
ying and yang in a way
joy sorrow


and I rejoiced
when I saw the squirrel trying to hide from me at the gutter
You survived little guy...yeah
It was a few bitter bitter nights


My feral cat Handsome is long gone
I shall write about him someday and what he meant to me
but I want to tell you that another cat has arrived
A large, dirty, scraggly old orange and white striper
another scaredy cat

And butterball Ms Kitty O'Shea
doesn't like it

Now the gardener is the one who has seen everything ruined
so many times that (even as his pain increases with each loss) he comprehends-----
truly knows---
that where there was a garden once,
it can be again,
or where there never was, there yet can be a garden

-Henry Mitchell

Ah Henry, you have seen my garden







Today is my birthday
no big deal, but this morning I gaze out the window
and behold the garden at rest
a blanket of cold comfort tucked about it
It is -1 degrees
brrrr

Happy Jack is gone, but others, maybe his children,
have moved into the Alder tree
How I chuckle now thinking back to the Fall day
when I saw all those broken branches on the garden path
which made me look up to see such cute baby squirrels
already knowledgeable about getting ready for winter
Ah you must have been the ones who ate the Tulip tree flowers
..that's okay

I have been neglectful of the garden
instead focusing my attention to what ails me inside
that has been slow to be comforted
But I am healed
and now I make dreams of getting my hands back into dirt
....on a much smaller scale
...old age
63...
has set in
I can't do what I used to do
Ah, this struggle
inside of me
But, I say, I have known many a gardener that worked well into the night and early morning arose
who where well into their 80's
Why am I suddenly struck with pains and aches that keep me inside
or sitting on the deck watching instead of doing?
Grief of the heart did me in
So this morning I take great joy again
in the squirrels and the birds
especially the happy chickadees
that still let out sounds in the freezing cold
...ah
a lesson here
Keep doing what you were meant to do
and sing baby sing

 

 

Took a walk through the garden this morning
with an open heart..
I sat a while to clear my mind of anything but the moment
and then I looked up
 and saw the light coming through the delicate flower
of the heavenly blue morning glory
God in flower

I looked down and saw this tiny slug
slimming over a recently cut tree
a mulberry
ugh
but he made it a dance floor
and I watched until a flock of robins
flew overhead and raided the mountain ash
the Roam tree
I am blessed to have two in my garden
this ancient tree of protection
I need to gather some dry branches
tie them with red thread
and place them over my door
just a symbol
but I am a wench after all
and so much a gypsy of the wandering soul
 

 

my temple bell is certainly
wabi sabi in the garden
On a windy day I absolutely love sitting in the garden
listen listen to all the bells
I am taken away by the sound
 

Oh..poor bunny
someone knocked you down
...oh
or maybe you were star gazing last night
I understand
or you were recharging your energy
gathering it from mother earth at your back

 

 

Oak leaf hydrangea
I love you most in autumn
I promise to water you more
next season of growing
living water
that's what we all need

I cannot tell you what overcame me this summer
that I so neglected my garden
life, I guess
I let others prune my bushes and weed my garden
and they almost destroyed it
But I know better
Every year in the garden is a new garden
and I expect that when the first robin returns
  a spiritual match will light the dry kindling inside of me
and nature will be faithful and there will be survivors
and I will begin again
walk barefoot on the earth
receive its energy
I'll dig out my gloves and hat
and tools

We'll begin the creative process all over again
and there will be joy

The garden path leads to Autumn

but there is still much beauty going on
like this lone morning glory 

there is joy in the wabi sabi look of this chair
and my heart swells with joy for the little flowers
 that are so ordinary, but today
so welcomed and adored by me

Even the dreaded monstrous grapevine
 that has taken over my chimney this summer
Is beautiful with its deep purple fruit

......that my wards...who must move on soon
will eat to to fatten themselves up for the long journey of migration

Oh I will miss you all,
 but will hold tight
to the awaiting feelings of excitment and anticipation
for your return
 

Sweet Autumn
your blooms are breathtaking
I shall never have a garden again without you

Remember the summer I cut you down instead of the grapevine
and I cried out

But you came back to me the next year
thank you

Even the clinkin clanking caliginous collection of junk
never fails to open my eyes to ordinary joy
wabi sabi

and the new arrivals that spark childlike glee in me
...You are in good company...welcome

autumn joy sedum
how wonderfully named
so true
pure joy

My obedient plant has spread over to my neighbors side
and she thanked me
ha....

scarlet.....how beautiful you are
against the iron
Glad I remembered to toss your seeds in the ground
for you have rewarded me with late blooms
of such passion

I have gathered my pots together
to keep them close by
so I can nuture them to the end

Oh....I have seen too many of these little feathers scattered around
The hawk returned

I can only do so much
...chase him vigorously
...but he waits
and he eats for the day

so sad for my mourning doves

....but the trees  weeped leaves
and your feathers were covered with deep respect

The dove just having roosted in your branches

Dark/light
joy/sadness
predator /prey

Oh the lessons of the garden

 

 

Google is giving me trouble over  loading pictures

 

Lucky for me

an important one was able to get through

using another method

phew

 

The grouse.

 

 

today was a glorious day

truly one to put in a treasure box

So I ditched the inside work

and went outside to clean up the deck

....the deck that was supposed to be taken down this summer

....there's always next year

I heard some rustling in the fallen leaves of the horsechestnut

I looked over and I was dumbstruck

there was this bird I had never seen before

and it hopped onto the deck stair, then onto the deck and proceeded to walk

right by my feet

I didn't move....I thought it was coming right up to me

like a pet bird...what bird is this?

It was a grouse

We don't have grouse here....

It stopped about a foot away from me then proceeded to walk across the deck and jump off

CAMERA!

I ran inside....'cause nobody is going to believe me

...just like the time in Chicago, in the Brighton Park neighborhood

I walked out the door and there..in my landlord's garden

stood a curlew

.....

....back to my grouse

Of course (?) I found the camera on the kitchen table and ran outside to catch the grouse

NO MEMORY!
son of a b

I ran back inside and found a card

but the doggone bird was gone

I think I heard him in the Autumn joy sedum

but they was absolutely covered in bees

 

We were in Galena this past weekend, near the Mississippi River

Chestnut mountain ski resort to be exact

...my husband said he looked it up and said there are tons of grouse there

one of the few places in Illinois

Could this bird have hitched a ride ?

no way

My husband insists

 

I told my hairstylist about the grouse

and he spun me around in the chair

and asked

Didn't you claim to see a mink too?

I knew he didn't believe me

 

 

The last words out of my mouth last night before lights out were,

How did that bird get here and where will he go?

 

My husband said,

quit grousing and go to sleep

 

 

I delighted in the Buddha's shadow
 

and the wind chime's shadow
...still... along the wall
It's the none movement
that quiets me this morning
My mom's new cat is very sick
and I have prayed for this kitty
every night
that God spare it for my mother
who just lost her older cat this past year
My mom is 83 years old
and this is taking a toll on her


 

A bunny runs out of the ground cover and stops
hoping I don't see it
or seek to harm it
I would never hurt you Mr Bunny
Every creature is welcome in my garden
You give me so much in return
glimpses of joy and wonder
moments of awe
and spirit


 

You Mr. Hummingbird moth
took me away to a place of bliss
this morning...your movements up and down and over
the Butterfly bush
.....How this bush got spared from the landscapers march to Atlanta
I'll never be sure of
But it is one of those little miracles that I know
and never question
but rather stand in

Even the morning shadows across the brick
make me look up in quiet
appreciation
for the sun
that warms the earth
draws forth life out of barren ground
It is no wonder that the ancients worshiped it
It is an orb of life

It is going to be very hot today
and the garden is waning as it is
...the birds call for me to fill the feeders and the birdbaths
Leaves are falling
and  I know the season of summer
has gathered her skirt and romped over the hill
seasons
I feel like I'm passing through one right now
joy